The Bound Creator

What is this anxious pain I felt without feeling
This numbness to trauma and adversity that I thought was just more opportunity to grow
Until the pain in my chest continued
How have I lived this long never questioning my habits to only be crippled by bottled up emotions
How did I not recognize that my emotion was bottled up but I was drinking them away
And then the anxiety attack happens
And the detachment happens because of me never seeing this coming
Although I drank I was strong
I read, worked, and meditated daily and now I see I was just trying to escape something much bigger
The bottles I’ve hidden behind to feel free even if just from one moment to the next have kept me at peace only to find out that serenity was never something I truly felt
What I see now Is that I feel resentment and disdain of my self
That moment when you break down from anxiety captivates your soul
Slowly meticulously separating what you thought made you whole
I was misaligned spiritually, broken mentally, and now broken physically
even as a creator of many things life can take its toll
how did I ever think alcohol would have the possibility to satisfy my soul
I see now that no matter how profound I may think,

and how groundbreaking I may be
I will never be far away from life’s sufferings
I’ve been a creator bound to be successful but made to be broken down until I accept myself and everything failure that was destined to happen to my life,
So that one day I will raise amongst those who suffer so that I can look down grab the hands who suffered like me and pull them up with me,
So that all my suffering becomes what helps us all evolve
Creating a new pathway for those who walk blindly in my footsteps

Published by Lawless_light

I am seeker of truth with a spirit open enough to accept it. I am currently on a journey to find myself and as I seek my I write about my discoveries .Im covering my thoughts,ideas,theories,and unlearning what I Have learned and feel passionately about it.I write poetry about life,love,and my curiosity and I hope you become enlightened by what I discover. For my intention is to simply spark the mind....

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