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My First Blog Post

“If money is not the root of all evil it is a vine the has entangled us all”

— Deshawn welch.

This is the first post on my new blog. I’m just getting this new blog going, so stay tuned for more. Subscribe below to get notified when I post new updates.

The Bound Creator


What is this anxious pain I felt without feeling
This numbness to trauma and adversity that I thought was just more opportunity to grow
Until the pain in my chest continued
How have I lived this long never questioning my habits to only be crippled by bottled up emotions
How did I not recognize that my emotion was bottled up but I was drinking them away
And then the anxiety attack happens
And the detachment happens because of me never seeing this coming
Although I drank I was strong
I read, worked, and meditated daily and now I see I was just trying to escape something much bigger
Myself,
The bottles I’ve hidden behind to feel free even if just from one moment to the next have kept me at peace only to find out that serenity was never something I truly felt
What I see now Is that I feel resentment and disdain of my self
That moment when you break down from anxiety captivates your soul
Slowly meticulously separating what you thought made you whole
I was misaligned spiritually, broken mentally, and now broken physically
even as a creator of many things life can take its toll
how did I ever think alcohol would have the possibility to satisfy my soul
I see now that no matter how profound I may think,

and how groundbreaking I may be
I will never be far away from life’s sufferings
I’ve been a creator bound to be successful but made to be broken down until I accept myself and everything failure that was destined to happen to my life,
So that one day I will raise amongst those who suffer so that I can look down grab the hands who suffered like me and pull them up with me,
So that all my suffering becomes what helps us all evolve
Creating a new pathway for those who walk blindly in my footsteps

Oh Where have I gone

Dear alcohol I gave you so much but I cannot help but ponder on the returns
The many concerns and money that burned as I stayed to watch and learn
but what did I learn the money that burned decided to just keep burning
the friend’s, the wife the kid’s the job the gift of life It just kept turning
my car my clothes my shoes my house how much else is it possible to take
“I’ll take everything else that you have to give but most of all your ability to create”

To be honest this short poem made me teary eyed at the end because only we know our deepest darkest regrets, trials, and tribulations. Only we know although we have moved through life that we have not thrived but only survived from the abuse of this substance. Only we know what we truly lost and where we could be if it wasn’t for this substance. I know I have grown and I have evolved but that does not mean as a human being I’m not gonna reflect on what I lost this far in my life. Addiction has plagued my family for generations on both sides and I see this poem as a poem that speaks for the all that’s suffered from alcohol abuse. I wish you all your evolving truth and pray acceptance responsibility and the awareness to be defenseless of the damage you have caused so you can move enjoy your present moment because it is a gift.

Love

The freedom to love is the essence of evolution

What is a man without love if not for anyone else but himself?

The body of energy that constitutes infinite existence must not be detached from the abilities of our God-given powers to love, to be curious, to be fearless, to simply BE

We must claim our rightful authority against the forces that manipulate our existence with fear and ignorance,

Attacking our intention and attention away from the liberating truth,

Love is powerful

We must manifest the creator within instead of limiting our development as spiritual beings,

 Reclaiming our destiny that lays beyond the pillars of religion,

Their lies the mystery that must be taught for our seeds of curiosity to have harmonious intent as they rest in the fertile ground of pure potentiality,

Forever blossoming above this desolate brush

Manifesting through space and time until we reach our highest form

The gap between intention and desire is where our truth lies but where we make our bed is where we decide to rest,

If we value time then we must value thought, but to value thought we must evolve in mind,

Love is the true power of evolution,

The secret garden that was once a quest for most but now is a journey to some,

Where has my love gone for humanity

Why does the sound of people dying not to make my heart ache anymore?

So, desensitized by death and violence that it has become a part of me,

Why Is my love behind held captive by the need to destroy what it seems has been made to destroy me?

What has been accomplished through the ages has not only stripped this planet of its natural resource, but It has stripped humans from there natural resource as well;
Love….

Cant Make ME Hate ME

How can we value what is divine when we have been made to hate ourselves?

How can we become one mind when we’ve been taught to degrade ourselves?

I feel compelled to breath light into the dark places of my soul

Before they make me hate me,

Take my DNA and try to innately shake me

All this propaganda yeah it affects me greatly

But still to this day you will not make me hate me,

I thought I seen everything in my days of vanity

but modified mystery, indoctrinated history, and now I must question my own sanity

searching though depicted pics of restricted hieroglyphics that was supposed to be a mythological Egyptian God myth,

And I still question the man in me,

That cannot be

There is something that cannot sit right with my soul

The temperature in this country is getting hotter who keep changing the Cole

No Reparations or mediation,

Just Separation through segregation, metaphorical assassinations, prehistorical abomination,

Just mind manipulation with improper

Demonstration,

I am the hope and I seek the truth to refine me,

I had to revitalize what was broke in my spirit to remind me,

Search deep inside to reinter twine the divine me,

I was once loss like the sacrificial lamb,

But there no chemical affinity to this artificial plan,

I see now they tried to make me an artificial man,

Where I stand is where I stand with a closed fist and raised hand,

They mistake my futility of pleasure,

With a passive passion for these meaningless endeavors

When inside me is a treasure that a man couldn’t measure,

They will not make me hate me they will make me better,

They can incriminate while I disseminate the power of this letter

It is up to us to realize that us is the power and the power is the treasure wordpress-alt

Faith in the Dark

Imagine walking into a tunnel

The tunnel is so dark you cannot see anything at all not even your own hands, you begin to want light more than anything so that you can navigate your way out of this tunnel,

Out of nowhere, a light appears ahead of a distance away small but visible, to say the least,

Although the light is small it provided hope, and in your mind, you expect that light to be your way out, so you draw closer walking with your eyes focused on the light and nothing else. You continue walking but you noticed through time that the light was not growing and that you didn’t feel like you were getting closer and what once was a  hope to find a way out then turned into hope just to feel like you were getting closer. Your eyes still focused the light you begin to walk faster and as time passes with your distance you begin to see what was once a small circle in diameter begin to grow bigger and as the distance grows your hope grew until suddenly you hear a sound and you freeze. Still in the dark that sound brings upon a natural  feeling of fear , you step and here it again then step then you hear it get closer and in that moment of fear panic not knowing that sound ahead and being too far to turn back into darkness knowing that hope of light is your way out and your closer to that. Going back made no sense. Hope has carried you this far the question now is that are you going to trust and believe in that hope that you have that the light is your way out? Or are you going to turn back in fear of what lies before your way out?

So you decide to take a leap of faith and begin to run not with fear of what lies before the light but pure faith and hope that the light is your way out. As your sprinting the light begins to grow until it is so big it illuminates all darkness to the point where you forgot about the sounds and fear’s the panicking emotions and all the trials you went through before you found your way out. Until just ahead you see another dark tunnel,

That’s life …..Every day presents its challenges but if we remember what got us through the last we will be prepared for the next, Knowing all we have to do is put our faith in hope in the light….US…..The more we put our faith and hope in ourselves the bigger the light will grow. For we hold the power of an eternal candle that never withers away, but we must exercise our faith in ourselves so that one day we won’t be the light that exits the tunnel but be the light that enters it.

Bed Of Vines

THE BED OF VINES
If money is the root of all evil, then it is the vine that has entangled us all, Or is it?
Is it the not mighty thorn of greed or the powerful brush in the innocence of hopeless need
I ponder on the many hearts that fertilize the many seed of the vines as they lay restless on a bed of
morality,
Rather it be the innocence of need or the greed we have in turn granted this vine immortality,
Acting of one’s wills purpose has been stripped from our soul,
As one must now earn for peace and yet yearn for love while being deprived from true meaning
Are we free just because we are not restrained from movement but, yet the very essence of our
presence is restrained from the vine?
Captivated in the existence of this illusion in our minds,
One must bear the sorrow that loathes the tragedy of the us the divine now being relative to time,
engulfed by this infinite vine as it intertwines on the bed of morality,
We must nurture the hidden power of our future before we can cultivate this vine,
If we could only inner stand before the root there was a time where the curiosity of the divine would
once get us through our times with passionate emotions that nurtured the seeds of our heart and
minds,
There lied the bed of the flower of life
This new root has been conditioned by folly into the mire
It is now only the innocent that fight’s fire with fire to burn down the vines of our times,
It is he who has a power of the vine who still holds the value of one’s purest desires,
There lies in the bed of vines who gives the innocently hopeless a glimpse of the flower of life

Perfectly Imperfect Garden

Perfectly Imperfect Garden

Who is the man who could think for himself or being held captive at the very base of his desires
The seeds in our minds have been  planted to regulate the life of he ever evolving man
Who was once likened to the garden of his own,
Our reaping and sowing as vague as one perceives ,but woah to the man who has manifested what he believes,
While we suffer but yet purify our most deepest imperfections,
We must not lose what was our to begin with,
Our imminent destiny as profound as it may be must not be encapsulated by the words
Live and die
We must BE
We must not be shaped
We are not the creature of our outside conditions but rather true master Gardner here to recondition this worlds finite interpretation of our own definition,
Granting  our souls the ability finesse our minds into the process of liberation our destiny while acknowledging the freedom in the process itself,
For we are never running late but always walking in perfection
We must BE
Allowing  our time to go undetected
Be still in knowing we are perpetually resurrected ,
I send the most beautiful whoa’s to the ever evolving man
That does not survive to live but thrives with plans,
that plants his seed to grow his trees
Who trims his weeds and honors his deeds through times of grief and great mischief
May the forest in our minds shield us from our greatest enemies
Let us not be sculpted by our fears nor molded by our doubt
Let us be highly ordered in our perfectly imperfect structure
As you are the divine crystal and your crystallization is your manifestation



Let go of yesterday

I recognize today is today and yesterday was today. I could not recognize yesterday ever. Because the present is the presence. I think about all the pain and the karmic debt I created for choices I made in the past but that’s simply what it is the past. What I did to myself, the feeling I had for what I did I already felt then so what’s the point in holding on or bringing back the pain. It is pain that I’ve felt, and the debt is over so why endure something I’ve already endured naturally. I question my reasoning for why I decided to bring things back that I feel I have not gotten over because I’m too busy trying to make reasons of why I currently am the way I am and feel the way I feel. It is with my divine understanding of my higher self that has allowed me to recognize that this universe can never be in perfection unless I accept what has happened and not be afraid of what it has made me become. See when the universe is in perfection and your just in the presence then you dont have to time for what has happened because you have a present mind and as present mind is a perfect mind. A perfect mind reaching cerebral hemispheres that are taking you places that don’t allow you question where you’ve been. I had to understand that Ive suffered enough and understanding this universe is always in perfection is allowing me to do that and now I have no feelings for what I’ve done I’m just at one with this present day enjoying the blissfulness of thought and the exhilarating delightfulness in what I have become. It is easy to say what makes me who I am is what I’ve done no matter the good and the bad, But what sparks the peace within my heart for all the things in my past that was embarrassing, hurtful, dreadful, and maybe even demeaning is exactly what gave me meaning. See I’m peaceful about what I am today because I see the universe as perfect and I am a part of that perfection. No more bringing back pain trying to relinquish what could have been. I am thankful for presence evolving and manifesting which leaves me no room for what I was because IAM…..

I am a seeker of truth with a spirit open enough to accept it. I am currently on a journey to find myself and as I seek my I write about my discoveries. Im covering my thoughts, ideas, theories, and unlearning what I Have learned and feel passionate about it. I write poetry about life, love, and my curiosity and I hope you become enlightened by what I discover. For my intention is to simply spark the mind…

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